$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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