Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.

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(703): I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians. http://tfl.nu/fsi0

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(905): View more from Toronto

so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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(905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.

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(774): So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish. http://tfl.nu/ywfu

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(330): View more from Ohio

She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.

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(330): She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay. http://tfl.nu/hfdj

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"

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(715): not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it" http://tfl.nu/1hnw

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(239): View more from Florida

apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms

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(239): apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms http://tfl.nu/7buk

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(574): View more from Indiana

It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

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(574): It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later. http://tfl.nu/qtru

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(843): View more from South Carolina

To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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(843): To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming. http://tfl.nu/2tij

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(707): View more from California

Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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(707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.

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(+44): It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over. http://tfl.nu/6ffz

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(208): View more from Idaho

well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.

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(208): well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/vs8b

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(319): View more from Iowa

WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER

(1-319): View more from Iowa

THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL

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(319): WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER (1-319): THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL http://tfl.nu/179q

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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(860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx

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(951): View more from California

Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.

(1-951): View more from California

I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.

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(951): Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny. (1-951): I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection. http://tfl.nu/lb55

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(+61): View more from Australia

He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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(+61): He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/a1rb

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