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I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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