I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize