Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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