2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
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we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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