I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize