Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize