dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize