I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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