i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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