I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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