it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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