look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He shit in the fireplace
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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