ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize