Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize