I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize