Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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