I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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