so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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