His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize