I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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