I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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