I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize