i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize