Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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