literally had 100 drinks last night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize