Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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