You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They took my balls.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize