i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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