You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Randomize