Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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