I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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