He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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