there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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