Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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