Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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