Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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