Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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