fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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