if i can run in heels then i can drive
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize