absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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