I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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