I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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