Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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