just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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