just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize