omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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