I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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