glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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