She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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